Thursday, October 14, 2010
The One With The Foundation.
A dear friend and I were talking.
She said, "We shouldn't let our happiness be defined by our circumstances."
And, boy, did that ever make my head spin.
And my stomach want to hit the pavement.
Because the truth is.
That's what I do.
What I've always done.
Whatever that circumstance is.
Be it job, or city, or loneliness.
I most definitely let it affect me.
I most definitely let it drive my happiness.
Let it determine whether I want to stay or flee.
Because the very nature of me...
What this tender heart feels.
What this searching soul hopes.
What these wandering feet seek.
What I mean is.
They're all based entirely on you.
Which scares me.
Because it means you've become a circumstance.
That modifying factor.
To my happiness.
And the thing is.
I want to be happy now.
With who I am.
Where I am.
What I do.
And I'm not talking job, or city, or loneliness.
I'm talking, happiness.
With the air and the laughter and the moments I get to write.
With the solitude and the evening strolls and the two pieces of toast in the morning.
With the hope, and the knowing, and the conversations with God.
With the living.
So that, when I do finally meet you.
I'll be able to love you.
From the ground up.