Tuesday, November 16, 2010

The One Where I Go Dutch.

Dear Lover, 

Since we're being honest.
You should know that today I read an article.
About  how most women in the Netherlands.
Work less.
Have lesser titles.
And have a big gender pay gap.
And here's the kicker.
They love it.

They're not career-obsessed.
Instead, work 4-5 hours a day at a job they enjoy.
Leaving when it's time to clock out without any regrets.
Leaving time for their husbands and children.
For cooking and meeting up with girlfriends for coffee.
For gardening and fruit markets and reading.

The thing is.
This little article.
It was so enjoyable to read.
Such a breath of fresh air.
A short moment where I thought, "Ah, so you understand."

But then, just as quickly as that moment arrived.
It suddenly fizzled.
And I had a strange feeling that I should hide the article.
Didn't want anyone to see what I was reading.
What I was nodding my head along with.
Because this is America.
I'm an American.
I'm supposed to be ambitious.
To roll my eyes and scoff at such silly gender theories.

But the truth is, that ambitious woman.
That's not me.
I don't think I have an ounce of it in me.
Sure, I want to do something great.
But I don't have to break glass ceilings in order to accomplish it.
Would rather spend 4-5 hours a day working in a bookstore.
Or typing away story ideas on my computer at an open window.
A job that isn't defined by compromises.
Isn't defined by success.
But by the amount of joy it brings me.
Leaving time for the cooking and the coffee and the family and the fresh air.
Time to develop myself and relationships with others.
Time to enjoy.

This is just who I am.

But, does this mean I'm going to stop watching Damages?
Stomp out my dreams of living smack dab in the middle of New York City?
Or stop sending out query letters in hopes of finding a literary agent who'll get my books published, win me movie rights, and get me an interview on Conan's late night show?

Hell no.


1 comment:

  1. It's not just you. I feel the same way. Sometimes I feel that my entire graduating class from college is disappointed in me, even though I technically am working a wonderful 9-5. But it's not what I want.