The One With The Boy From Topeka.

Dear Lover,

There was once a boy named Kevin.
He was from Kansas.
We slow danced and swam hand in hand into the ocean.
He swore that one day he'd take me to the World's Largest Ball of Twine.
Burned me my first mixed cd.
Wrestled alligators.
And would say the sort of things men sometimes keep hidden inside.
As rain fell onto my cheekbones.

There is this Counting Crows song that reminds me of him every time I hear it.

He's not you.
I know this.
But, for awhile, I didn't.
I thought perhaps I'd let a good one slip away.
Because, you see.
When we were together.
I was caught up in a time of my life that didn't allow me to be my complete self around him.
Which only messed things up.
And so, we didn't wait for each other.
And he is married now.
And I'm finally in a time of my life that allows me to realize myself now.
I no longer go disappearing as much.
Into the greater grey that covers over every day and hovers in the distance, as the song says.

But I want you to know.
That he was kind.
And although it was hard for him to understand those grey shadows I was so tangled up in.
He always tried.
And that's why, when I hear that song by that band.
A band we used to love to listen to together.
I think of him.
And probably always will.

Love,
Me.